thoughts..

I've definitely needed this reminder over the past few days.  Sometimes I find myself getting so caught up in my own Marissa World, with my own problems and my own challenges and I too easily forget to step back and remember that eternal perspective and that my Heavenly Father has not left me to struggle alone.  Rather, He is always watching over me and is aware of what I'm facing.  He is with me through my joys and through my challenges.  He KNOWS and CARES about me, and you and is willing and wanting to help us!  

  The past few weeks have literally been a whirlwind of emotions.  Since when did I become so emotional? .Ugh, must be what happens when you hit 2 decades.  Control of emotions goes out the window.  I thought that's what was supposed to end after puberty? You're all liars! ;)  I think these roller coaster emotions have come because I've found myself (or put myself)  under a constant stress and pressure to do certain things and to make some very important choices.   I've come to realize that things are never going to be completely picture perfect.  That there are going to be challenges, and that whatever plan you have for yourself is not necessarily what God has in mind for you.  Learning to accept and understand Gods will above my own has always been a challenge for me, and boy is he putting me to the test.

Despite all of these crazy emotions and and concerns of mine, I am extremely happy!  Life is so good, as cliche as that sounds.  It really is, and alot of it has to do with the wonderful people in my life.  I have amazing parents, siblings, buds, friends, coworkers, roommates, neighbors, and most importantly, I have the gospel in my life.   I am so grateful for the knowledge I have of Jesus Christ and his gospel.  I'm so grateful for my Savior, t he atoned for the sins of the world.  I am so grateful for the knowledge I have that I am never alone.  I'm grateful that despite all of my concerns and challenges, Christ knows exactly what I'm going through.  I honestly am sad for those who don't have that knowledge in their lives.  The world would seem a whole lot scarier without it.

  Things are going to be getting crazier and crazier the closer it gets to January, but for right now in this very moment, despite the fact that I have to write a paper and this is how I'm procrastinating, I am so happy.  I really am.

 "May your days be merry and Bright, and may all your Christmases be white!"

Times be Changing

Whew.

The last few weeks have been such a whirlwind!  I've definitely had a lot on my mind.  More than the usual college stuff.

So guess what?

I'M GOING ON A MISSION!

But before I get ahead of myself, let's rewind shall we?

A few months ago my home ward bishop pulled me in and talked to me about serving a mission.  At the time, the possibility of a mission was more than a year away, so I wasn't stressing too much about it.  But after that interview, I really began thinking about a mission seriously.  I knew that next fall I would either be preparing for a mission, or going to study abroad in London (maybe be married you say? Uh.. hahaha...).  The application for Study Abroad was due in the beginning of November, so I had been feeling serious pressure to make the decision this fall as to whether I'd be on a mission, or in London.

Fast forward a few weeks.  As General Conference was coming up, I was still very much undecided as to what to do in regards to my future.  I decided to keep praying about it and hoped that during General Conference, I would have some sort of direction and idea of what I was to do.

Well, I definitely got my answer.  When President Monson announced that girls could now go on missions at 19, the entire time I just kept getting the impression that, "This is for you Marissa, this is your answer."

My first impression? Yikes!  I mean, my whole life just changed.  That sounds so dramatic, and it kind of is, but it's also true. Plus the idea of leaving my family and friends and putting my life on hold for 18 months is quite scary.

Needless to say, I didn't get a whole lot out of General Conference after that first announcement. My mind kept racing 3 billion miles a minute.  Ya.  

I was 90% certain I would serve by the end of general conference weekend, but I still felt that deciding to go on a mission was something I needed to sift around in my mind and mentally, emotionally, and spiritually prepare myself for.  I met with my home ward Bishop a few days later, just to get an idea of the time that mission papers would take and what all would be required.  Coming out of that interview, I felt really good about going, but I still wasn't 100%.

As the next couple of days went by, I could not get the idea of going on a mission out of my head.  Why wouldn't I serve?  What was holding me back?  I kept getting the impression that I had been so blessed in my life, who better than I to go serve the Lord and help him further the work?

 I know that a mission is going to be hard. SO HARD.  I've had enough family serve, I've read their letters, I've heard the stories. And yet, it feels so right. I know there are going to be some very dark days, but there will also be priceless experiences that I will treasure forever.

Once I knew that the mission was no longer an "if" but a "when," I had a really hard time deciding on the "when."  Do I stay and leave after Winter semester, so the end of April? Do I go right after Fall, so in a few short months?

There were too many pro's and con's to both options, so I decided to leave it up to the Lord. My availability date is January 2nd, so I could go then, or 4 months later in May.  Ya, the ambiguity is killing me too....

So now you're up to date.   I've submitted my papers and am expecting to get my call on Halloween (let's hope!)

Sometimes it feels so surreal that I'm actually going to serve a mission! Trust me.  I was that girl growing up that was like, "Oh no way! The whole mission thing just isn't for me. No thank you."  Sometimes I feel like that 10 year old girl inside me is still freaking out at me, but too many times have I felt the spirit witness to me that this is what I'm supposed to do.

I'm excited to serve the Lord.  I don't care where I get called to serve, I honestly don' t  I'm just excited for this big opportunity.  I probably don't have a clue what I'm getting myself into, but it's going to be great because the Lord is on my side.

I know that this gospel is true.  I know that the Lord knows us so well.  I know that the Book of Mormon is true. I know that President Thomas S. Monson is the Lords' mouthpiece today.

 I know it, I live it, I love it.

- Marissa out.

Ps: I love BYU campus in the Fall.  

Happy Autumn!

Scarier then anything you'll see at Halloween

Oh man.

Midterms.

Memorize everything you've ever read, the dates they were written, and the historical impact they had on the world.

Take that knowledge and go write essays on them.  No essay prompt, just a Date.  Expound on that date.

do that 5 times.

OH, that's only the first fourth of the test.

Identify
Explain
Distinguish
Explicate

Welcome to my life.

Did I mention I sometimes really really hate college?

5 midterms.

I got this.

On a brighter note, T-swifts new song came out.  I love it.  It's pretty decent. Give it a little listen.

Enjoy.

Superheroes, Summer, and Future Semesters

Oh hello blog, long time no see!

This summer has just flown by and fall semester is right around the corner.  I find myself wondering what I did with all the "down time" I've had.  I'm going to be honest, as I've mentioned in the previous post, my social life on the boy front has been a little lacking, and i'm okay with that for the most part because all the boys in my life have chosen to serve missions. So I'd really rather be in this boy deprived situation than have them not serve missions.  But until fall semester starts and I meet new people, I've been keeping myself preoccupied with a few choice superheroes this summer.

My first superhero crush is a member of the avengers....   this fella right here:

And i'll admit, he is quite a bit older than me, but still, Tony Stark has got some serious style.  He is one of my favorite superheroes because he has an attitude, he's funny, and well, he's a "billionaire genius playboy philanthropist." What's not to love?

However, when watching the avengers, I also developed a silly schoolgirl's crush in this fine fellow:

He's like a manly version of Legolas.  Not to say Legolas isn't manly, but...ya okay, i guess that's what i'm saying ;)

But perhaps the biggest superhero crush I developed was on this fine specimen:

I serious LOVE him. As Spider man, and as Andrew Garfield.  He may have suprassed Zac Efron on the celebrity crush scale, and that's saying ALOT! I guess I've always had a thing for the "cool nerds."  If you didn't go see the Amazing Spiderman, I'd highly recommend it.  It merely tickled my fancy because it was funny, a little bit more of a lighthearted setting then other superhero movies lately, and I thought he did a great job as spiderman. But I am very clearly biased so who knows if you'll enjoy it.

And then finally, after having just barely seen The Dark Knight Rises, I must say that i have quite an admiration for the Mr. Christian Bale...or Bruce Wayne, whichever you'd prefer.

I'm not going to lie, when I first saw Batman Begins several years ago, I wasn't the biggest fan.  The show was a bit dark for me...and  there were lots of explosions and creepy things.  But in light of the new show coming out and how everyone said that it was SO GOOD, I figured i'd give the series a second chance, and boy I'm glad that I did.  I loved Batman Begins. The Dark Knight was good, but still a bit dark for me.  And then The Dark Knight Rises just blew. my. mind.  It converted me to the Batman bandwagon.


Too bad these men don't exist in real life *sigh.  I mean, I guess they do, but there are a bajillion reasons why it would never work out.  Besides, as I've learned in my 19 long  years of life, I would never really want to marry a celebrity. Bleh, that hollywood life does not appeal to me, but it still is fun to daydream about spiderman ;)

So aside from watching superhero movies all summer, I did go to New York.  I don't have any pictures on this computer so that will have to wait for another post...although don't get on the edge of your seat because it may never happen.

I also just got back from an amazing family reunion with my ENTIRE family.  It was so fun to have all of us there.  The older I get, the more I realize how cool/fun/awesome/kind/amazing/everything my family is.  I love them!

But alas, the summer is coming to a close and it's time to move on to the future semester. I am very excited for school, although last night i sort of had an anxiety attack about it.  However, upon waking up in the morning, things were seen in a better light (that's usually what a good nights sleep does for ya) and while I'm still anxious about a few things, life is going to be great.

A few goals i have for this fall semester are these:

- Exercise at least 5 times a week.
- Pack healthy lunches every day so that I don't become a vending machine junkie like last year
- Be on top of homework
- Be in bed by 11 O'clock on the week days. (This one is going to be a  killer, but I've got work at 8am every morning so it's got to be that way)
-Learn how to cook healthy dinner meals, as opposed to frozen dinners from a box.
-Date lots of boys
-Be 100% in my visiting teaching. (i'll admit, last year I slacked off bit time)
-Read my scirptures every day. (I'm not taking a religion class this semester so It's important for me to get my daily dosage of scripture time)

Hopefully I can maintain these goals throughout the whole semester.  And i'm going to throw it out there so as to help motivate me, I'm not going to be eating ANY sugar except for on Halloween night, Thanksgiving day, and then during Christmas Break i'll indulge myself a little more.  Hopefully that will help me feel and perform better in my day to day routine.

Here's to a great semester!

I"m gonna be a part of it!

Hello world

Long time no write :)  So sorry about that.  Nothing too eventful or blog post worthy has happened in the past few months.  I've moved home for the summer and have basically been working 2 jobs all summer.  My social life you ask?  Well, it's basically nonexistent.  Okay, not nonexistent, but compared to college and what not, it's much bleaker.  The only people I hang out with are my girl friends, (who I LOVE and am so grateful to them for hanging out with me this summer) and the last few boy stragglers who have yet to leave on their missions.  Seriously.  Every single boy worth mentioning in my life (romatnically at least) is gone, gone, gone.

*sigh

But... never fear, for new and exciting things are happening for this Miss Marissa.  I'm going to NEW YORK CITY!!!!!!!!

Let me repeat:

NEW YORK CITY!

I'm going in the middle of July and I am just thrilled! I'll be there for a week and I am just so excited!

Well, that's all for now.  Perhaps I'll try to be better about blogging, but perhaps not.

:D

June Roses

Hello world!
Guess what this girl did yesterday!? Thats right, I ATTENDED MY LAST CLASS AS A FRESHMAN!!!!!!! WOOOT!

It was actually really epic because as I walked out of my class, it was pouring cats and dogs outside, and silly me didn't have a jacket or any thing, so I had to walk home in the pouring rain. I felt like Aragorn in The Twin Towers, when he comes comes back from almost being killed by those wolf thingies, and he opens the door all wet and dramatically...Except for I don't have a beard like he did...and I'm a girl..teehee ;)

I honestly never thought this day would come though. I've dreamed of it countless times, especially back in September at the beginning. But honestly, I've learned SO much these past 9 months, and I would not take back one single second, regardless of how hard or how difficult it's been. Don't get me wrong though, moving out was hard, and I really did miss high school at first, but now I feel like I could never go back to high school because College is just SO MUCH BETTER...for me, at this time in my life.

I've had so much fun this winter semester especially. I feel like I've sort of got a better grip on the whole college thing. I especially love the people I've had the opportunity to associate with. They are so great! And I know that If I'd gone to a different university I never would have had the opportunity to associate with such a unique and diverse group of talented people who all share the same core values as me. It really is amazing.

I'm actually really sad that my Freshman year is coming to an end. Isn't it interesting how I was sad to come, and now i'm even more sad that I have to leave? I've absolutely loved my ward. We've been really close, and I can honestly say that I know and love almost all of the people in my ward. They are just fanatastic people. People I will definitely never forget. I think there is a special bond that people get when they go through hard or new things together. My ward is a freshman ward, so many of us face very similar challenges, but it's been so great to support and be supported by others as we have each embarked on this new phase of life.

I think it was President Monson that has quoted in a few talkes, "Memories are the June roses for the Decembers of our lives." This past year and the people I've had the privlage to hang out with will definitely be apart of my "June Rose Memories," in the future.

Weird..

All of the outlets in my building are upside down. Why? Obviously it was a conscious decision by the construction workers/electicians because they are ALL upside down! At first it sort of drove me insane but now i kind of love it, and it makes way more sense. Man, transitioning back to right-side-up outlets is going to be such a pain! :p

In other news, Marissa has a pretty humiliating story.

So once upon a time, my professor decided that he wanted to assign his students to do a "close reading" on a particular piece of literature we would read in class. Well, I got assigned the Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin. So as I started writing said paper, I realized that I really didn't know what to write about, and it took me forever to write the dang thing. But alas, I did write it, and albeit it wasn't my best work, I was just so done with it so I didn't care. I turned in the paper and pretty much forgot about it.

Well, last night after class my professor said he wanted to meet with me. Whenever a professor tells you that, your stomach automatically does a few flip flops, and I began imaging worst-case scenarios as to why my professor needed to have a word with me. Well, turns out my worst-case scenario came true! Doesn't that just suck? He ended up telling me that I didn't do the assignment right, and that I needed to rewrite the whole thing.

Lets just say that I felt pretty dumb. Like, really dumb. I've never once in my life been so off on an assignment that my professor/teacher had to have me do it again. GAH!

But don't worry, this story has a somewhat happy ending, and that is that I just rewrote it and i'm finished with it!! (super happy eh?) I feel alot better about it, not great, but better, enough so that my professor hopefully won't have to have another little chat with me agian. Ugh, it was just uncomfortable for everybody involved I think.

But its all over now and in the past. DONE.

I just realized that on this silly little blog that I always talk about school and that I'm supposed to be in college partying and having crazy adventures. Well, I am having crazy adventures and partying, but so much of my life is school and work, so I guess thats what's on my mind. all. the. time.

On a happier note though, I'm coming home for the 3 day weekend! YAY!!!!!!!

Oh and also, I got a fall/winter contract with the Elms today! again, YAY!!!!

Catch up time

THe above picture is from a date i went on a few weeks ago. Fun times.
THis is must me perched on the counter top. Its sort of "my place" where I chill in the kitchen (probably because its right next to my cupboard of food?). Anyways this is just a cute little picture of me, Stacy, and Natalie after having helped our other roommates throw a little harry potter party.

This picture was against Gonzaga I believe? Regardlesss of who we played, we won! And it was such a fun game to go to! I love my amigos from HIgh school, they are just simply fantastic!

In other news, I am in the thick of mid terms. I'm really feeling the pressurre from having to juggle a job, school, studying, and social life. Some days it just seems like too much but it always ends up working out in the end. Last week i had two English midterms, which are super hard might I ad. It's not multiple choice sort of deal but all essays. Gosh darn those cursed essays! But I did it, and i"m feeling pretty decent about them (or maybe it's just relief that they are over??).

This week i've got the dreaded American Heritage test as well as a Living Prophets quiz and all sorts of good readings and assignments from other classes. Thats what kills me about midterms, you've got all these major tests and yet your professors still hand out homework and assignments like they're going out of style. *sigh.

Well, life really is is good. My heavenly father is so good to me. Every day there are little tender mercies that make everything O.K. Its the little things...

Happiness..

"Happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you but on what happens
inside of you"

That little quote taped onto the bathroom mirror at home really has hit me hard lately. Yes, I'm not the most excited at the prospects of a new semester, new trials, new hardships. This semester is going to be a toughy what with the heavy reading load I have, as well as working 20 hours this semester. Its very easy to get down and frustrated with how busy/crazy/hard every day is.

HOWEVER, How can I choose not to be happy? I'm here at BYU getting an education that millions only dream of. I have a good job, and a good support system. Yes, sometimes its super hard, but there is always something to be happy about. Today, it was the fact that I got so much done. I'm HAPPY about that!

Well, thats all I've got to say at the moment. I hope you're looking forward to more wise words from Marissa haha

...And we're back

Christmas was fantastic, but alas, all good things must come to an end, so here I am back at college. The first day went pretty well. My 3 hour evening class was cancelled, so thats kind of a nice start to the semester i'd say. However, I can already feel the homework load piling up. Oh joy.


This should make for an interesting semester, involving loads of reading and writing, but hey, its all good; I'm going to grow and learn so much!

It really was such a fantastic christmas and I simply loved being with family and friends and having free time to do what I please. I'm grateful for that time of year because I get a chance to really celebrate my savior and all he has done for me, as well as spend time with the people I love most.


Happy New Year and best wishes in 2012!