The Call

I totally agree with the quote above.  And just the other day, I was listening to the song I have posted below, entitled, "The Call" by Regina Spector (Who I LOVE).   I've heard the song a bajillion times, but for some reason the words and tune totally HIT me, and perfectly capture how I've been feeling lately.  Give it a little listen, even if you have already heard the song.  It's beautiful!

The song is beautiful, and happy, and sad, and hopeful, and all about change, and progress, and following the call.  All things I've been feeling lately.  

I guess you could say that I"m completely nervous and scared to leave comforts of my farm on West Mountain, and my wonderful family and friends whom I love so dearly.  But over and over in my mind this scripture keeps popping up in my  head:

Life has been a little crazy lately, but I have felt the love of my Heavenly Father, and I know that things are going to be alright, and that while change is hard, it is a good thing.  I know that in serving the lord for 18 months, not only will I be able to help bring others unto Christ, but I will be bringing myself unto Christ as well.  With that knowledge, I have no need to fear.  

thoughts..

I've definitely needed this reminder over the past few days.  Sometimes I find myself getting so caught up in my own Marissa World, with my own problems and my own challenges and I too easily forget to step back and remember that eternal perspective and that my Heavenly Father has not left me to struggle alone.  Rather, He is always watching over me and is aware of what I'm facing.  He is with me through my joys and through my challenges.  He KNOWS and CARES about me, and you and is willing and wanting to help us!  

  The past few weeks have literally been a whirlwind of emotions.  Since when did I become so emotional? .Ugh, must be what happens when you hit 2 decades.  Control of emotions goes out the window.  I thought that's what was supposed to end after puberty? You're all liars! ;)  I think these roller coaster emotions have come because I've found myself (or put myself)  under a constant stress and pressure to do certain things and to make some very important choices.   I've come to realize that things are never going to be completely picture perfect.  That there are going to be challenges, and that whatever plan you have for yourself is not necessarily what God has in mind for you.  Learning to accept and understand Gods will above my own has always been a challenge for me, and boy is he putting me to the test.

Despite all of these crazy emotions and and concerns of mine, I am extremely happy!  Life is so good, as cliche as that sounds.  It really is, and alot of it has to do with the wonderful people in my life.  I have amazing parents, siblings, buds, friends, coworkers, roommates, neighbors, and most importantly, I have the gospel in my life.   I am so grateful for the knowledge I have of Jesus Christ and his gospel.  I'm so grateful for my Savior, t he atoned for the sins of the world.  I am so grateful for the knowledge I have that I am never alone.  I'm grateful that despite all of my concerns and challenges, Christ knows exactly what I'm going through.  I honestly am sad for those who don't have that knowledge in their lives.  The world would seem a whole lot scarier without it.

  Things are going to be getting crazier and crazier the closer it gets to January, but for right now in this very moment, despite the fact that I have to write a paper and this is how I'm procrastinating, I am so happy.  I really am.

 "May your days be merry and Bright, and may all your Christmases be white!"

Times be Changing

Whew.

The last few weeks have been such a whirlwind!  I've definitely had a lot on my mind.  More than the usual college stuff.

So guess what?

I'M GOING ON A MISSION!

But before I get ahead of myself, let's rewind shall we?

A few months ago my home ward bishop pulled me in and talked to me about serving a mission.  At the time, the possibility of a mission was more than a year away, so I wasn't stressing too much about it.  But after that interview, I really began thinking about a mission seriously.  I knew that next fall I would either be preparing for a mission, or going to study abroad in London (maybe be married you say? Uh.. hahaha...).  The application for Study Abroad was due in the beginning of November, so I had been feeling serious pressure to make the decision this fall as to whether I'd be on a mission, or in London.

Fast forward a few weeks.  As General Conference was coming up, I was still very much undecided as to what to do in regards to my future.  I decided to keep praying about it and hoped that during General Conference, I would have some sort of direction and idea of what I was to do.

Well, I definitely got my answer.  When President Monson announced that girls could now go on missions at 19, the entire time I just kept getting the impression that, "This is for you Marissa, this is your answer."

My first impression? Yikes!  I mean, my whole life just changed.  That sounds so dramatic, and it kind of is, but it's also true. Plus the idea of leaving my family and friends and putting my life on hold for 18 months is quite scary.

Needless to say, I didn't get a whole lot out of General Conference after that first announcement. My mind kept racing 3 billion miles a minute.  Ya.  

I was 90% certain I would serve by the end of general conference weekend, but I still felt that deciding to go on a mission was something I needed to sift around in my mind and mentally, emotionally, and spiritually prepare myself for.  I met with my home ward Bishop a few days later, just to get an idea of the time that mission papers would take and what all would be required.  Coming out of that interview, I felt really good about going, but I still wasn't 100%.

As the next couple of days went by, I could not get the idea of going on a mission out of my head.  Why wouldn't I serve?  What was holding me back?  I kept getting the impression that I had been so blessed in my life, who better than I to go serve the Lord and help him further the work?

 I know that a mission is going to be hard. SO HARD.  I've had enough family serve, I've read their letters, I've heard the stories. And yet, it feels so right. I know there are going to be some very dark days, but there will also be priceless experiences that I will treasure forever.

Once I knew that the mission was no longer an "if" but a "when," I had a really hard time deciding on the "when."  Do I stay and leave after Winter semester, so the end of April? Do I go right after Fall, so in a few short months?

There were too many pro's and con's to both options, so I decided to leave it up to the Lord. My availability date is January 2nd, so I could go then, or 4 months later in May.  Ya, the ambiguity is killing me too....

So now you're up to date.   I've submitted my papers and am expecting to get my call on Halloween (let's hope!)

Sometimes it feels so surreal that I'm actually going to serve a mission! Trust me.  I was that girl growing up that was like, "Oh no way! The whole mission thing just isn't for me. No thank you."  Sometimes I feel like that 10 year old girl inside me is still freaking out at me, but too many times have I felt the spirit witness to me that this is what I'm supposed to do.

I'm excited to serve the Lord.  I don't care where I get called to serve, I honestly don' t  I'm just excited for this big opportunity.  I probably don't have a clue what I'm getting myself into, but it's going to be great because the Lord is on my side.

I know that this gospel is true.  I know that the Lord knows us so well.  I know that the Book of Mormon is true. I know that President Thomas S. Monson is the Lords' mouthpiece today.

 I know it, I live it, I love it.

- Marissa out.

Ps: I love BYU campus in the Fall.  

Happy Autumn!

Scarier then anything you'll see at Halloween

Oh man.

Midterms.

Memorize everything you've ever read, the dates they were written, and the historical impact they had on the world.

Take that knowledge and go write essays on them.  No essay prompt, just a Date.  Expound on that date.

do that 5 times.

OH, that's only the first fourth of the test.

Identify
Explain
Distinguish
Explicate

Welcome to my life.

Did I mention I sometimes really really hate college?

5 midterms.

I got this.

On a brighter note, T-swifts new song came out.  I love it.  It's pretty decent. Give it a little listen.

Enjoy.

Superheroes, Summer, and Future Semesters

Oh hello blog, long time no see!

This summer has just flown by and fall semester is right around the corner.  I find myself wondering what I did with all the "down time" I've had.  I'm going to be honest, as I've mentioned in the previous post, my social life on the boy front has been a little lacking, and i'm okay with that for the most part because all the boys in my life have chosen to serve missions. So I'd really rather be in this boy deprived situation than have them not serve missions.  But until fall semester starts and I meet new people, I've been keeping myself preoccupied with a few choice superheroes this summer.

My first superhero crush is a member of the avengers....   this fella right here:

And i'll admit, he is quite a bit older than me, but still, Tony Stark has got some serious style.  He is one of my favorite superheroes because he has an attitude, he's funny, and well, he's a "billionaire genius playboy philanthropist." What's not to love?

However, when watching the avengers, I also developed a silly schoolgirl's crush in this fine fellow:

He's like a manly version of Legolas.  Not to say Legolas isn't manly, but...ya okay, i guess that's what i'm saying ;)

But perhaps the biggest superhero crush I developed was on this fine specimen:

I serious LOVE him. As Spider man, and as Andrew Garfield.  He may have suprassed Zac Efron on the celebrity crush scale, and that's saying ALOT! I guess I've always had a thing for the "cool nerds."  If you didn't go see the Amazing Spiderman, I'd highly recommend it.  It merely tickled my fancy because it was funny, a little bit more of a lighthearted setting then other superhero movies lately, and I thought he did a great job as spiderman. But I am very clearly biased so who knows if you'll enjoy it.

And then finally, after having just barely seen The Dark Knight Rises, I must say that i have quite an admiration for the Mr. Christian Bale...or Bruce Wayne, whichever you'd prefer.

I'm not going to lie, when I first saw Batman Begins several years ago, I wasn't the biggest fan.  The show was a bit dark for me...and  there were lots of explosions and creepy things.  But in light of the new show coming out and how everyone said that it was SO GOOD, I figured i'd give the series a second chance, and boy I'm glad that I did.  I loved Batman Begins. The Dark Knight was good, but still a bit dark for me.  And then The Dark Knight Rises just blew. my. mind.  It converted me to the Batman bandwagon.


Too bad these men don't exist in real life *sigh.  I mean, I guess they do, but there are a bajillion reasons why it would never work out.  Besides, as I've learned in my 19 long  years of life, I would never really want to marry a celebrity. Bleh, that hollywood life does not appeal to me, but it still is fun to daydream about spiderman ;)

So aside from watching superhero movies all summer, I did go to New York.  I don't have any pictures on this computer so that will have to wait for another post...although don't get on the edge of your seat because it may never happen.

I also just got back from an amazing family reunion with my ENTIRE family.  It was so fun to have all of us there.  The older I get, the more I realize how cool/fun/awesome/kind/amazing/everything my family is.  I love them!

But alas, the summer is coming to a close and it's time to move on to the future semester. I am very excited for school, although last night i sort of had an anxiety attack about it.  However, upon waking up in the morning, things were seen in a better light (that's usually what a good nights sleep does for ya) and while I'm still anxious about a few things, life is going to be great.

A few goals i have for this fall semester are these:

- Exercise at least 5 times a week.
- Pack healthy lunches every day so that I don't become a vending machine junkie like last year
- Be on top of homework
- Be in bed by 11 O'clock on the week days. (This one is going to be a  killer, but I've got work at 8am every morning so it's got to be that way)
-Learn how to cook healthy dinner meals, as opposed to frozen dinners from a box.
-Date lots of boys
-Be 100% in my visiting teaching. (i'll admit, last year I slacked off bit time)
-Read my scirptures every day. (I'm not taking a religion class this semester so It's important for me to get my daily dosage of scripture time)

Hopefully I can maintain these goals throughout the whole semester.  And i'm going to throw it out there so as to help motivate me, I'm not going to be eating ANY sugar except for on Halloween night, Thanksgiving day, and then during Christmas Break i'll indulge myself a little more.  Hopefully that will help me feel and perform better in my day to day routine.

Here's to a great semester!

I"m gonna be a part of it!

Hello world

Long time no write :)  So sorry about that.  Nothing too eventful or blog post worthy has happened in the past few months.  I've moved home for the summer and have basically been working 2 jobs all summer.  My social life you ask?  Well, it's basically nonexistent.  Okay, not nonexistent, but compared to college and what not, it's much bleaker.  The only people I hang out with are my girl friends, (who I LOVE and am so grateful to them for hanging out with me this summer) and the last few boy stragglers who have yet to leave on their missions.  Seriously.  Every single boy worth mentioning in my life (romatnically at least) is gone, gone, gone.

*sigh

But... never fear, for new and exciting things are happening for this Miss Marissa.  I'm going to NEW YORK CITY!!!!!!!!

Let me repeat:

NEW YORK CITY!

I'm going in the middle of July and I am just thrilled! I'll be there for a week and I am just so excited!

Well, that's all for now.  Perhaps I'll try to be better about blogging, but perhaps not.

:D

June Roses

Hello world!
Guess what this girl did yesterday!? Thats right, I ATTENDED MY LAST CLASS AS A FRESHMAN!!!!!!! WOOOT!

It was actually really epic because as I walked out of my class, it was pouring cats and dogs outside, and silly me didn't have a jacket or any thing, so I had to walk home in the pouring rain. I felt like Aragorn in The Twin Towers, when he comes comes back from almost being killed by those wolf thingies, and he opens the door all wet and dramatically...Except for I don't have a beard like he did...and I'm a girl..teehee ;)

I honestly never thought this day would come though. I've dreamed of it countless times, especially back in September at the beginning. But honestly, I've learned SO much these past 9 months, and I would not take back one single second, regardless of how hard or how difficult it's been. Don't get me wrong though, moving out was hard, and I really did miss high school at first, but now I feel like I could never go back to high school because College is just SO MUCH BETTER...for me, at this time in my life.

I've had so much fun this winter semester especially. I feel like I've sort of got a better grip on the whole college thing. I especially love the people I've had the opportunity to associate with. They are so great! And I know that If I'd gone to a different university I never would have had the opportunity to associate with such a unique and diverse group of talented people who all share the same core values as me. It really is amazing.

I'm actually really sad that my Freshman year is coming to an end. Isn't it interesting how I was sad to come, and now i'm even more sad that I have to leave? I've absolutely loved my ward. We've been really close, and I can honestly say that I know and love almost all of the people in my ward. They are just fanatastic people. People I will definitely never forget. I think there is a special bond that people get when they go through hard or new things together. My ward is a freshman ward, so many of us face very similar challenges, but it's been so great to support and be supported by others as we have each embarked on this new phase of life.

I think it was President Monson that has quoted in a few talkes, "Memories are the June roses for the Decembers of our lives." This past year and the people I've had the privlage to hang out with will definitely be apart of my "June Rose Memories," in the future.